Are your gaming sessions a little stale?

Maybe what your table needs is a pie in the face.

No, make that a mud pie.

Fair warning: This advice may not work with your group. It may not even work with most groups.

But maybe what you need is a bit of things you step in, go squish, and involve unwashed and unbraided hobbit feet.

The appeal of gross-out humor might only be toward a slim segment of the gaming community. After all, things that make you go yuck are, by definition, inappropriate.

On the other hand, for some of us, nothing satisfies a needed change of pace like a goodly dose of things that trigger a gag reflex. In fact, your players might thank you if their most memorable day of adventuring involves their characters ending up face first in a big steaming pile of goo.

Isn’t that more interesting than the PCs appearing before the queen and her court in all their finery?

Raising a Stink

  • Skunk ape: The most potent weapon of a troglodyte is its stench. Most games even have a mechanic for it. Save against stink or upchuck.
  • Burning hunger: The hell hound is just a big, mean fire-breathing dog, right? I guess that means it will eat anything, including …
  • Bullish: The D&D Gorgon has a petrifying breath. Its legendary antecedent, the bull of heaven, flings cow patties for damage.
  • Ker-splat: Speaking of flinging, if monkeys fling poo, guess what the fiend barlgura tosses when it is mad?
  • Fish guts: What lurks within an aboleth, eh?

You Might Want to Get that Checked Out

  • A piece of me: That skin fungus is causing some flaking — by the handful.
  • Bed bugs: Yes they bite. In fantasy land they dig in and breed, too.
  • Lay down your head: Head lice. That’s the least of the things left behind by the orc that slept here last.
  • Pop it: Magical puss-filled boils keep growing unless you lance them.
  • Did you pack the TP?: Eat anything in the dungeon not on the official food pyramid? Guaranteed you’ve got the trots.
  • Pinocchio effect: What happens if a body part keeps growing — and something else shrinks to compensate?

Get Your Mind Out of the Outhouse

  • Rhinovirus: Hill giant with a cold sneezes a shower of snot in your direction.
  • Garbage pile or latrine?: That magic item you desire? Well, it’s guarded by an Otyugh.
  • Wiggly wormy: That pit you just fell into is filled a foot deep with carrion crawler larvae.
  • Horse apples: Remember, if you are tracking centaurs, they don’t eat hay.
  • You can’t candy coat it: You can bet that what looks like a sumptuous dinner is a hag glamoured serving of offal pie and witch’s cake.

Do you have anything funnier than orc farts? Share us your experiences below?