That’s right, only 6.7 eons after our last contest — celebrating 500 Gnome Stew articles by asking you, our readers, to contribute new taglines for the site — we finally winnowed down the list and got them all set up.
Well, I say “we.”
While we all winnowed down the list, someone else actually created the graphical versions (my good friend Darren, who did our site design) — and the slacker who sat on this project for a shamefully long time?
That was me, not “we,” and I’m sorry it took me so long!
But here we are: 33 new taglines have been added to the original 19, and are now in the rotation. Every time you load a page on the Stew, a random tagline appears.
Thank you to everyone who suggested a tagline during the contest — and to save you from frantically refreshing this page to see what’s new, here’s a list of the new additions:
Available with Constitution or Charisma.
Hey baby, want to see my lair?
Short in stature. Tall in game mastering content.
Chock full of GMing advice (and gnome chunks).
Fortified by thousands of essential reader comments.
94% lean USDA-certified GMing advice, 6% gnomish gristle.
Good for what ails your game.
Choosy GMs choose Gnome Stew.
Add flavor to your games with a mouthful of hot gnome.
Because we couldn’t get “Gnome Custard” past our brand manager.
Better ingredients, better GMing.
The best recipe for game mastering.
Stewing ideas (and gnome gizzards) for better GMing.
Now 100% dwarf-free.*
Many, many gnomes were harmed in the making of this stew.
Ask us about the special ingredient! (Hint: it’s gnome.)
Guaranteed not to give you Dwarf Pox.
Hot GM-on-GM action.
Hot gnome photos uploaded rarely. Very, very rarely.
Made from the finest all-natural GMing advice.
In no way part of a balanced breakfast.
Guaranteed to help you roll more criticals behind the screen.
Bearded for your GMing pleasure.
Let cool, then serve over dice.
Epic-level GMing advice from 0-level monsters.
Making pointy red hats cool since 2008.
Our stew has what plants crave. (GMs love it, too.)
We picked our favorite reader taglines, sometimes as-is and sometimes with a change or two, and always with an eye to capturing that lemony zest that somehow says “Gnome Stew.” (We also added a few of our own, which I won’t post here — we have to have some surprises, right?)
As with all of the little quirks of this site, I hope you enjoy this one.
It’s lemony zest?
Geez, I’ve been using Mint Explosion Zest all year…
Anything to cover the smell of dead, boiled gnome, really…