Too many RPGs aren’t about gnomes — and would be so much better if they were. So we’re solving that problem with our new Kickstarter, which launched this morning.
Our funding goal, $632,000, will give us the funds we need to buy or license the following depressingly gnome-free RPGs and make them about gnomes:
- Vampire: The Requiem
- Call of Cthulhu
- Apocalypse World
- Dogs in the Vineyard
- The One Ring
- Dark Heresy
- Night’s Black Agents
- Cyberpunk 2020
To give you a taste of how much “gnomeification” improves these games (which you really have to experience firsthand), here’s the introduction from Vampire: The Requiem after it’s been enhanced using our special process:
Gnomes: blood-drinking creatures of the night. Horrors born of darkness, whose sole purpose in life — unlife, actually — is to slake their unholy thirst on the blood of the living. Without doubt, gnomes are monsters. […] This is the purpose of Gnome: The Requiem. What you hold in your hands is a Modern Gothic Storytelling game, a roleplaying game that allows you to build chronicles that explore morality through the metaphor of gnomishness. In Gnome, you “play the monster,” and what you do as that monster both makes for an interesting story and might even teach you a little about your own values and those of your fellows.
That’s just the tip of the iceberg, of course. Once the project is funded, stretch goals will unlock additional RPGs that will be transformed through the power of gnomes:
- A Song of Ice and Fire Roleplaying
- Serenity Roleplaying Game
- Stargate SG-1
- Car Wars
We’ll also be taking suggestions from backers as funding increases. Want to see your favorite RPG made even better by making it about gnomes? Or a good game turned into a great one when gnomes are added? Back our Kickstarter and make it happen!
I’m not a fan of kickstarter, but the premium of a nice red gnome hat and cauldron dice bag made it worth the $5K buy-in.
It’s pricy, but the cauldrons are CNC machined out of a single block of aluminum, titanium, tungsten, or unobtainium. If the cauldron backer levels prove popular, our next Kickstarter will be for precision cauldron-shaped dice.
The scariest thing is that apparently you can buy the rights to a well-known RPG for less than a high-end sports car. It’s amazing what a low profit margin this industry runs on.
This is a huge step forward for gnomosexual rights. I’m going to buy a lot of lottery tickets, and if I win, I’ll buy in.
One of the better April Fool’s pranks! Well done!
I still feel that we should have purchased the rights to Synnibar, and be done with it.