Now, I know none of us here at the Stew would ever use a roleplaying game as an excuse for spending the evening blatantly flirting with our best friends. Nope. Never. Ever. (If we’re going to flirt with the homies, we’re gonna be up front and ethical about it.)
THAT SAID, this Valentine’s Day, if you want to add a little romance to your games, you should be armed with the knowledge of what goes into creating a satisfying romance arc. The ingredients and…techniques…required to bring two (or more) characters to their…narrative climax.
So sit down. It’s time we have The Talk.
Always Use Protection
Any sort of romance arc should be vetted by everyone at the table with active and enthusiastic consent. Theoretically, you’ll have covered the topic in session zero, but it never hurts to take the table’s temperature before you get hot and heavy with the RP.
If you’re looking to dip your toe into the waters of narrative smooching, you can steal a page out of BookTok’s book and talk to your group about potential romance arcs using a pepper scale.
0-1 peppers is mild spicy—some flirting, a kiss here or there, maybe some implied hanky panky behind closed doors—all the way up to 5 peppers.
NOTE: I do not advise jumping headfirst into a 5 pepper romance arc as your table’s first foray into romantic RP unless, to quote John Mulaney, “Everyone gets real cool about a bunch of stuff really quickly.”
The chance for emotional bleed at a romantic table is quite high, so make sure to deploy your safety mechanics and use them liberally.
The Arc of Cupid’s Arrow
Getting into the thick of it, what are the elements that create a good romance arc? In one of her Patreon classes, award-winning storyteller Mary Robinette Kowal explained it with an acronym: D.R.E.A.M.
- Denial — No! I could never love someone like that.
- Resistance — Damnit, we have chemistry, but I can’t let that spark become a flame.
- Exploration — Fine. One date won’t hurt…
- Acceptance — Okay. Yeah. I DO love them!
- Materialization — Hey, everyone! We’re getting married!
If you look at the majority of romance stories—from rom coms to gothics to the latest romantasy epic—you’ll find some version of this template applied to all of them. The trick as a GM is knowing which phase your characters are in and using the appropriate kinds of obstacles for those phases to create a good story.
PRO TIP: Give your players copies of this arc and ask them to track where they think their characters are on it as the story progresses. If your table is crunchy, gamify the progression through the arc with romance points (or some other form of tracking).
It Rains When We’re Sad
Feelings in general — and romantic feelings specifically — mostly happen inside people’s heads. They’re “navel-gazing” character arcs, unless we, as GMs, externalize some of the conflicts and obstacles involved in those arcs.
- Denial Phase: The characters have made assumptions about each other. What are those assumptions, and what situations can you concoct that will force the players to challenge them?
- Resistance Phase: At this point, the characters are still clinging to their definition of self and their assumptions about the love interest, but the walls are crumbling. What challenge will push them over the edge?
- Exploration Phase: When they’re exploring the potential for a relationship, both parties will be guarded, and trust will need to be earned. Challenge their trust in each other. Put them in situations that require them to step outside their comfort zones.
- Acceptance Phase: This phase usually comes after one or both parties have made an ass out of themselves and potentially harmed the relationship. It’s the “break-up” moment that happens in so many romances, when the bet that brought them together is revealed, or the secret that one person has been harboring comes out. It’s usually only after the love is taken away that they both realize they’re in love.
- Materialization Phase: This is the happily ever after. You don’t need to create any challenges in this phase. It’s their reward for all the work that went into the arc.
In standard romances, most of the obstacles the characters face are social and, honestly, have much lower stakes than your standard D&D party faces. So imagine how much fun you can have when the angry ex that comes to break up their date in the exploration phase turns out to be a necromancer or a dragon or the dragon necromancer king of a rival country!
What are some of your favorite examples of romance arcs at the table? Let us know below!
