Would your group play in a session that had Santa Claus in it? Sure, you can write off the legend of Santa Claus as nothing more than a myth used for entertaining children with, but let’s look at some of the finer details:

  • He has an arctic base of operations.
  • He passes judgment on others and decides whether or not to reward or punish them for their deeds.
  • He has an amazing industrial complex at his disposal to build whatever he needs.
  • He has an army of elves under his command.
  • He is capable of spying on anyone at anytime and anywhere.
  • He has magical beasts of burden that can fly him to any location in the world.
  • He can manipulate time so as to complete his dastardly work all in one night.

You can write that off as a mere children’s story, but as far as I am concerned Santa Claus can be summed up in two words:


Do not give me that “But he loves children!” crap. Does he feed them? No. Clothe them? No. Care for them? No. I do all of that work and my kids still do not listen to me, but if my wife utters the words “Santa is watching.” suddenly my son and daughter turn into model citizens.

Obviously Santa Claus is brainwashing the youth of the world in an attempt to make them do his bidding. That devious bastard!

Your GM’s Challenge — Use Santa Claus as a Villain!

In the fine holiday literary tradition of The Lobo Paramilitary Christmas Special make an adventure where Santa Claus is the bad guy (and the PCs probably are not much better).

The movie was not as good as the book.

Leave a comment of 250 words or less that provides the overall premise of your Santa Claus as nemesis adventure concept, and I will pick my favorite one and give the creator a $25 gift certificate for Drive Thru RPG. This not an official Gnome Stew contest (I am acting on my own here), but fellow gnomes are not eligible to win because I want this prize to go to a reader of the stew.

Only one entry per person, and the deadline is to have your comment posted by December 21st 10:00pm (CST). I will announce the winner on December 23rd which will be just in time to spoil everyone else’s holiday. How will I decide who the winner is? The idea that strikes me as the most appealing to run a game with wins.

Have fun with this readers! I look forward to seeing what kind of bizarre ideas you will come up with, and good luck to all who dare to compete in this ludicrous contest of geeky gamer mayhem!