The April Foolio of Fiends! Arthur will try not to eat you, at least not on purpose.

Happy April First, everyone!

We here at Gnome Stew are dedicated to bringing you the finest of gaming material, so we are proud to present The April Foolio of Fiends, an astounding collection of ridiculous monsters in a variety of systems. Feel free to use and abuse these foolish folks in your own games. We don’t condone cruelty to monsters, but they’re just as eager to have fun with you, so have at it!

This is just a taste of all the foolishly fun fiends we’ve created for you. The full collection of critters is available in a pay-what-you-want PDF at DriveThru RPG. The best part is that all proceeds are going to benefit Child’s Play, a game industry charity dedicated to improving the lives of children in a network of over 100 hospitals worldwide. You get to have fun with these ridiculous rascals and we all get to help make the lives of some kids a little brighter.

Mapless Fury

By Camdon Wright, Art by Toast

In a world full of monsters, traps, portals to unknown dimensions, and inns full of quest giving magicians sometimes you get a little turned around. Only the most foul of creature would take advantage of these moments of assistance to send you in the wrong direction. The mapless fury has no mercy when it comes to disrupting your travel plans.

Seeming able to point in all directions at once, a mapless fury will do its best to send you in the opposite direction of your intended goal. If you return to ask for clarification it will send you in an equally wrong but brand new path claiming to have forgotten to tell you about a crucial turn. Mapless furies seem very friendly and helpful.

Which way to go?

MAPLESS FURY (5e)
Medium Undead, Chaotic Neutral
Armor Class 11
Hit Points 71 (13d8 + 13)
Speed 30 ft.

STR 11 (+0), DEX 12 (+1), CON 12 (+1)
INT 19 (+4), WIS 17 (+3), CHA 17 (+3)

Saving Throws: INT +7, WIS +6, CHA +6
Skills: Arcana +7, Deception +6, Insight +6, Perception +6, Persuasion +6, Stealth +4
Senses: Darkvision 120 ft., Passive Perception 16
Challenge: 1

Special traits

Always Helpful: All Persuasion checks are made with advantage.

Actions

Dominate Travel: The mapless fury chooses one creature that can understand spoken language, and begins to give them directions. The target must make a DC 16 Wisdom saving throw.
On a failed save, the creature will follow whatever directions the mapless fury has given them for one hour. The affected creature will not follow any directions that would cause direct harm to themselves or their party like walking off of a cliff.
The affected creature makes a DC 15 Wisdom saving throw at the end of the hour. Failed save: The creature continues on following directions given for 24 hours. All spell effects dissipate at the end of that 24 hours.
After a successful save, the creature is no longer controlled, but is confused for 15 minutes about how they got where they are.

Disorienting Touch: Will only attack when defending itself as it is only trying to be helpful. Attack +3 to hit, 11 (2d8+3) psychic damage.

Mimic Beer

by J.T. Evans, Art by Crystal Neagley

This nefarious creature slips into taverns, alehouses, and other establishments that serve fine drinks. The mimic beer will peruse nearby labels of dwarven stouts, halfing porters, gnomish lagers, and elven pilsners until it finds an appropriate draft to take the place of.

Unsuspecting barkeeps will pass the mimic beer down the bar to a hapless patron. When the patron brings the drink to their mouth to enjoy a quality brew, the mimic beer will explode into shards of glass in an attempt to kill or maim the patron.

While relatively weak, the sudden attack of a mimic beer can bring down even the heartiest consumer of alcoholic beverages, especially if they’ve already downed a few draughts earlier in the night.

Though attacks by mimic beer are rare, they become much more frequent during the creatures’ mating season, a time often referred to as Oct-faux-beer-fest.

But is it an ale, a lager, or a stout?

MIMIC BEER (Fate)
High Concept: Fake Beer
Trouble: The Trick’s On You!
Other Aspects: Perfect Replication, Tastes Great, Less Filling
Scale: Good (+3)
Skills:
Good (+3): Fight, Deceive
Fair (+2): Notice, Will
Average (+1): Burglary, Stealth
Stunts:
Reproduce Label: Once per day, the mimic beer can perfectly reproduce the label from a nearby bottle of brew. Once the label is set for the day, the mimic beer can’t change its label until the next day.
Explosive Attack: As the first attack during a scene, the mimic beer can gain a +2 Fight on its attack and place either the aspect of Shocked or Outraged on the target.
Physical Stress: Ο Ο
Mental Stress: Ο Ο Ο
Size: The size of a large bottle of beer.

Nab-Catcher-Bot

by Angela Murray, Art by Nuactna

That is one very annoyed cat.

A mad scientist once thought he had solved his city’s stray dog problem with a robot programmed to round them up humanely. But then, like most interesting robots, it got some ideas of its own. This nab-catcher-bot has gone off-script and decided that they needed to help in the canine revolution that only they see happening.

As a result, this nab-catcher-bot has been causing chaos throughout the city as they round up all cats they find, as well as the occasional squirrel and raccoon. Thankfully the birds don’t seem to qualify.

Where it’s taking all these annoyed felines (and other critters) no one is sure.

NAB-CATCHER-BOT (Dungeon World)
(Solitary, Medium, Robotic)

8 HP
2 armor

Taser Net (d6 damage)
Reach, Stuns

Special Qualities: Metal chassis

Instinct:
To round up furry things
Ignore original programming
Assist all good puppers

Anger Drake

by Chuck Lauer, Art by KC Preston

A semi-intelligent, distant relative to the couatl, the anger drake is native to similar ecology, but is much smaller and much, much cuter. Though not able to speak, anger drakes seem to understand the concepts of goodness and law well enough to follow them broadly.

Prone to flitting around humanoids playfully in order to gain their attention and affection, the anger drake makes a distinctive sound that has been described variously as “like a purr dipped in honey,” “a unicorn yawning after a nap” or “the most obnoxious thing I have ever heard. How can you stand that? Kill it. Kill it now.”

For whatever reason, characters and NPCs of neutral or evil alignment find the mere presence of an anger drake to be insufferable to the point of self-destruction, and will often go to extreme measures to just get rid of the things. While anger drakes understand physical aggression, they appear to be driven to find the good in even the most violent individuals, never attacking, even in self-defense, and only flying away when asked politely by a good character or when dropped to fewer than 20 hit points.

But it’s soooo cute…

ANGER DRAKE (5e)
Small celestial, lawful good
Armor Class 19 (natural armor)
Hit Points 80
Speed 30 ft, fly 90 ft

STR 3 (-4), DEX 20 (+5), CON 17 (+3)
INT 6 (-2), WIS 20 (+5), CHA 20 (+5)

Saving Throws: CON +5, WIS +7, CHA +7
Damage Resistances: Radiant
Damage Immunities: Psychic, bludgeoning, piercing, and slashing from nonmagical attacks
Senses: truesight 120 ft., passive Perception 15
Languages: None
Challenge: 3

Special Traits

Innate Spellcasting: The anger drake’s
spellcasting ability is Charisma (spell save DC 15). It can innately cast the following spells, requiring only verbal components (specifically, its distinctive cry).

At will: detect evil and good, detect magic
3/day: bless, create food and water, cure wounds, lesser restoration, protection from poison, sanctuary, shield
1/day: dream, greater restoration, scrying

Aura of Affection or Obnoxiousness: Each creature within 100 feet of the anger drake
that can see or hear it must make a DC 15 Charisma saving throw each round or be affected by the Aura of Affection or
Obnoxiousness.
Characters of a Good alignment find the creature adorable, and cannot make any attacks, direct or indirect, against it.
Characters of a Neutral or Evil alignment find the anger drake irritating beyond the point of reason, and can take no action other than attacking the creature until it is driven away or asked to leave.

Grumbleface (Chitterface)

by Jared Rascher, Art by Toast

The Grumbleface/Chitterface is a fey that has attached itself to mortal rituals surrounding coffee. As with most faeries, the mortal behavior being mimicked is, slightly, exaggerated.

In the morning, it begins in its chitterface form, until it is either asked a question that requires cognitive energy to answer, or until it is exposed to sunlight. Once either of these triggers happen, the chitterface transforms into the grumbleface.

The grumbleface is not nearly as aggressive as it sounds, but its bellowing about needed coffee and need to avoid human contact is enough to cause stress and concern in any near it. If it goes too long without coffee, it may begin to actively destroy any work it previously did that has not been completed.

The grumbleface cannot be changed until it has had “enough coffee,” at which point, it transforms back into its chitterface form. The chitterface form is far less intimidating, but shortly after transforming, the chitterface will let out a burst of questions about daily projects and ancillary tasks that might be equally overwhelming.

In some instances, the grumbleface/chitterface transformation will trigger in the afternoon, often triggered by “one too many stupid questions.”

Get that mid-level manager a coffee, quick!

GRUMBLEFACE (CHITTERFACE) (Fate)
High Concept: Highly Motivated Faerie Creature
Trouble: High Energy Can Be High Maintenance
Other Aspects: Not Even Supposed to be Here Today, This Needs to be Redone from Scratch, Wait–I Have An Idea!
Skills:
Great (+4): Intimidate (Grumbleface)/
Organization (Chitterface)
Fair (+2): Throw Paperwork (Grumbleface)/Navigate Co-workers (Chitterface)
Stunts:
They Have a Point (Grumbleface): Whenever the grumbleface causes stress with an intimidation attack, they can also give that character a “They Have A Point” aspect with a free invoke. If the character with this aspect spends their turn drinking coffee, they may remove this aspect and the free invoke.
Making Up for Lost Time (Chitterface): Whenever the grumbleface transforms into its chitterface from, the chitterface immediately makes an area attack on everyone in its area and all adjacent areas, using its Organization skill. This causes stress to everyone that fails to defend against the attack, as they cannot answer questions fast enough to get the chitterface up to speed.
Stress:
The chitterface does not have traditional stress boxes, only a set of countdown boxes.

Countdown (Enough Coffee) Ο Ο Ο Ο
Trigger (All Boxes): Character has made an overcome action to determine what kind of coffee the grumbleface needs and how best to deliver it.
Outcome: The grumbleface transforms into a chitterface

Countdown (One Too Many Stupid Questions) Ο Ο Ο Ο
Trigger (All Boxes): Someone asks the chitterface a question that is obvious or has nothing to do with the current situation, and another character has failed in an overcome action to determine how to answer the superfluous question.
Outcome: The chitterface transforms into a grumbleface.

Dracomanticoreasaurus

by Jen Adcock, Art by Laura Sorenson

Yeah, it’s all the things.

DRACOMANTICOREASAURUS (Dungeon World)
(Large, Solitary, Magical, Intelligent)

16 HP
5 armor

Bite (2d12+5 damage, 3 piercing)
Reach, Forceful

Special Qualities:
Entrancing look, Shooting tail spikes

Instinct:
To charm prey
Preen
Act with disdain

Little Bunny Tooth Tooth

by Matt Neagley, Art by Crystal Neagley

Little Bunny Tooth Tooth
hopping through the forest,
scooping up the field mice
and knocking out their teeth.

Down came the Good Fairy and said:

“Little Bunny Tooth Tooth,
I don’t want to see you
scooping up the field mice
and knocking out their teeth.
I’m going to give you a chance to change,
and if you don’t, I’m going to feature you in
a book of silly monsters.”

But the very next day…

Little Bunny Tooth Tooth
hopping through the village,
Visiting the children
and knocking out their teeth.

Down came the Good Fairy and said:
“Little Bunny Tooth Tooth,
I don’t want to see you
bothering the children
by knocking out their teeth.
I gave you a chance to change,
and now I’m going to feature you in a book
of silly monsters.”

But that very night…

Little Bunny Tooth Tooth
skulking through the forest
found a little cottage
And stole some pearly teeth.
Then out came the Good Fairy and said:
“Little Bunny Toof Toof,
I don’t like you attitude.
You’re such a little cretin,
Give me back my teef!”

And then she put him in a book of silly monsters.

Well, that tooth was kind of hurting…

LITTLE BUNNY TOOTH TOOTH (5e)
Tiny fiend, chaotic evil
Armor Class 13
Hit Points 23 (8d4 + 3)
Speed 40 ft.

STR 15 (+2), DEX 17 (+3), CON 13 (+1)
INT 11 (+0), WIS 12 (+1) CHA 14 (+2)

Skills: Deception +4, Stealth +5
Senses: passive Perception 11
Languages: Infernal, Sylvan, Common
Challenge: 1 (200)

Special traits
That Rabbit’s Dynamite: Whenever Little Bunny Tooth Tooth’s final attack roll is 3 higher than it needs to be to hit a target, the target must make a DEX or CON save, DC 13 or Little Bunny Tooth Tooth rips out 1d4 of their teeth. If the target has a full helm or other such protection, Little Bunny Tooth Tooth must score a critical hit to rip out teeth. (Humans have 32 teeth. Dogs have 42, Horses have 40. Warning! Do not Google pictures of horse teeth unless you have a paper due soon and want to be unable to sleep.)
Dentamancy: Little Bunny Tooth Tooth starts each encounter with 1d8 teeth in his bag of teeth and gathers more with his That Rabbit’s Dynamite ability. He can expend up to one tooth a round (he holds it up and it rots away) as a bonus action to gain a hero point.

Actions
Bag Swing/Rabbit Punch Melee Weapon: Attack +5 to hit, reach 5 ft. one target. Hit: 10 (3d4 +3) Bludgeoning damage. This attack may trigger Little Bunny Tooth Tooth’s That Rabbit’s Dynamite ability.

Hermit Mermaid

by Chris Sniezak, Art by Toast

The hermit mermaid is a mer-creature that finds living creatures that are large enough to kill and then occupy by using their bodies as a propulsion engine within the water. They most commonly utilize fish as their tails, because they are excellent propulsion and the mouths are often easy to slide into. Because of this, they are regularly mistaken for your coral variety merfolk. Though, the dead fish eyes on their bodies are often a dead giveaway to their true nature.

When they’re not attached to a creature their lower bodies are a mass of nerve endings that probe and writhe in the water. The bioelectric currents they send out are what they use to kill their prey before sliding inside the carcass and taking it over. When in a body they are carnivores and will eat any fresh meat they come across and have a special fondness for humanoids.

Once in a body they exist within it until they grow out of it. The hermit mermaids never stop growing as long as they keep finding larger and larger bodies to exist within. There’s even a rumor of a hermit  mermaid who inhabits a kraken’s body.

A hermit mermaid’s stats depend a lot on what it’s lower body is. You’ll be choosing between sets of numbers to make this monster fit the flavor you decide for your hermit mermaid.

Wouldn’t wearing a shark hurt?

HERMIT MERMAID (5e)
Medium humanoid, neutral
Armor Class 13
Hit Points 28 (8d8 – 8)
Speed 0 ft., Swim. 15 ft

STR 10 (+0), DEX 12 (+1), CON 9 (-1)
INT 15 (+2), WIS 14 (+2), CHA 16 (+3)

Senses: Darkvision 120ft., passive perception 12
Languages: common, primordial
Challenge: 3 (450)

Special Traits
Plug and Play: When the hermit mermaid has a dead body it can can take a minute to enter that dead body and gain the following:

• The higher of the AC, movement, Str, Dex, and Con.
• Any Physical special abilities of the body that make sense for it having been took over. Of course anything to do with the mouth or the brain is just out since the creature is dead and the hermit mermaid inhabits the mouth.
• Add the former creatures maximum HP to the hermit mermaid’s total HP. When taking damage the HP gained from the creature are the first lost.
• Add any attacks that make sense.
• If the hermit mermaid leaves the body it loses all of the benefits.

Actions
Punch: Melee Weapon Attack: +5 to hit, reach 5 ft., one creature. Hit: 2 (1d4) bludgeoning.
Shocking Neromass: Melee Attack: +6 to hit, reach 5 ft., one creature. Hit: 21 (6d6) lightning damage and the target must make a DC 13 constitution saving throw or be stunned until the end of the hermit mermaid’s next turn. The hermit mermaid can only use this attack when they’re not utilizing a dead body.