Christmas Day! It is finally here! And with it we embrace good tidings for all, holiday cheer, and loot. If you were a PC, then Christmas Day is when you get that +3 sword of Ass Kickery that you have been acting Lawful Good for all year long.

But much like the occasional cursed item appears in a module, so too does the occasional stinker present show up in the grand adventure of life. Yet clever gamers know how to use both to their advantage. Read on, and learn how to turn those dud gifts into the highlight of your next game session!

Socks — Nothing says “I really didn’t give a shit.” like the gift of cotton footwear does. Yet you can take this simple clothing item and turn it into the greatest threat the PCs have ever faced. Sew button eyes on one sock, slide it over your hand, and use it as a puppet. Refer to it as the “Sea Serpent of Argyle” and then attack the player’s miniatures with it.

Fruitcake – For dramatic tension have the PCs encounter a pagan mystic who will offer them a clue as to what they should do next, but only if they can pass a test of bravery. Then slide a plate with a slice of fruitcake in front of the players and say “Take a bite. I dare you.”

Ties – That tie you got from Aunt Petunia? Cut sections out of it, and wrap them tunic-like around your miniatures. You now have an army of paisley golems. Their weakness is ridicule, so a successful Bluff or Intimidate check will stun them for a bit. Cut larger sections out to use as graphic templates for Prismatic Spray, etc.

Snow Globes – Frosty’s back! And he’s got a Globe of Invulnerability! And he’s PISSED!

Sweaters – Ever receive a hideous concoction of knitting and lack of taste in a size too big or too small? You wouldn’t be caught dead in it yourself, but that doesn’t mean you can’t force someone else to wear it for your own twisted amusement! Have one of your players find the rare and powerful “Armor of the Sheep’s Wool!”. The PC will receive huge defensive bonuses in game, but only if the player wears the sweater while the armor is being used. Make sure to take pictures. <Insert evil GM’s laugh here.>

Got any ideas of your own on how to turn an awful gift into an awesome game prop/tool? Leave your comments below and help make this the best Christmas for gamers ever!

(Note: Special thanks to fellow gnome Kurt Schneider for his help with this post. He apparently has received many ugly ties and snow globes for Christmas.)