trick-or-treat-1443764As I watched horror movies, getting up to hand out candy to munchkins on Halloween this year I was inspired to come up with some tricky treats to torment trick-or-treaters. Of course I had a ground rule for myself: they had to be fodder for a fun adventure.

Super Sticky Bubble Gum: This colorful treat comes in the form of large bright spheres of gum wrapped up in crinkled cellophane. When used to blow bubbles, they are satisfyingly large and pop with a loud snap. But they are also incredibly sticky, so blowing bubbles results in gum stuck all over your face. Trying to remove it with your hands simply results in gum stuck to them too, stretching in gooey ropes from fingers to face. With some patience and solvent it can be removed, but simple struggling will create a bigger and bigger mess until you’re gummed up beyond all hope in a giant wad of gum. That’s when footsteps can be heard nearby, and a costumed figure dripping with powered sugar arrives to cut you free from the floor, walls, and furniture, dust the gum wad with sugar, and roll you off to his lair. Hopefully you can free yourself and escape, or someone will follow the trail of powered sugar and rescue you…

Spider Egg Cotton Candy: This ghoulishly fun treat is a cotton candy husk wrapped around a core of candy “spider eggs” and a few gummy spiders. What a fun treat! Fun at least until the eggs hatch in your stomach while you sleep, crawl out of your mouth and swarm through your house, covering everything in sticky cotton candy spider webs and cocooning everyone they encounter. The spiders quickly grow to hand sized monsters or even larger, and a single treat can cover a whole house. Larger infestations might cover an entire neighborhood, led by a spider queen of massive size. Someone call the exterminators!

Candy Maize: This is by far the worst treat on our list. It looks like normal candy corn and when you put it in your mouth you quickly discover its horrible secret: It tastes like normal candy corn too! (unless you like the taste of candy corn, in which case I guess it tastes like something even more disgusting, if there is such a thing.) When you discard it, a candy corn maze springs up around it with you at the center. Though glimpses and elements of the real world can be seen, dimensions and paths are twisted and changed, and only the rustling of the corn haunts the silence. As you try to find your way out of the maze, you are stalked by a scarecrow-like being. Pushing through the walls will summon the coblins, tiny corn cob critters with nasty bites. Solving the maze will return you to a spot near where you were when the maze appeared. Good luck.